B. Saber Reserves

Due to unforeseen circumstances PV2 Saber is unfortunately being recognized for his service to my country. Like a transvestite equipped with a semi-truck load worth of makeup, he may seem to pass on the surface but do not be deceived, he is Canadian. After being admitted to 1-3 this crusty snow wigger was somehow entrusted with a deadly weapon and sent to protect real American patriots. Like a bad case of trench foot, PV2 Saber is soaking wet and always there, whether you like it or not. This ability to last, despite any adverse conditions, has led credence to his effort to always finish off not only the fight, but also his squad members. Although he is still white, his shitty nationality has somehow led to slurs and racism harsher than anything 1-3 has ever directed toward any brown person. As a white boy with alleged “motion” he has been witnessed to make an entire enemy company die of cringe. Although I wrote this in less time than it takes Otterman to finish in Saber’s mom, he is one of the dedicated and capable soldiers of all time and is therefore begrudgingly awarded with an Army Achievement Medal.